Unpacking in Portland

I spent the last week of 2018 cramming as much as I could fit into my Honda Civic and driving across the country from New Jersey to Colorado. The entire trip, I remember telling myself, “The hard part is already over. Once you get to Colorado Springs, everything is going to be so much easier.” I’m laughing as I write this, because I’ve never been more wrong in my life!

Back then, I had NO IDEA of the madness that would lie ahead in 2019—the crazy ups and downs, unexpected adventures, wayyyy too many flights, new creative pursuits, mental health battles, unforgettably good food (best Thai food of my life in LA) unforgettably bad food (worst pizza of my life in Billings, Montana), disappointments, and one incredible Maggie Rogers concert—all of it, jam-packed into a single year.

I moved again in August, from Colorado to Utah, and then again this month from Utah to Portland (I know, I’m crazy!), all while working full time at my remote marketing job. And while I’m incredibly lucky to have had the freedom and resources to travel around the country over the past year, it took a toll on me in ways I didn’t expect. It challenged me and taught me a lot about myself. Most of all, it forced me to be brave. I still have a laundry list of things I need to work on as a person, but somehow I grew in the midst of it all.

As I made the drive to Portland, I was terrified. I was moving to a new city I’d never been to before, mentally/emotionally/physically exhausted from the past year, and trying hard to stay positive despite my anxiety. 

But somehow, the universe has a way of coming through when you need it the most. The few short weeks I’ve spent in Portland have been the biggest emotional sigh of relief I’ve felt in a long time. I can’t begin to explain how good it feels to unpack everything, to finally buy a couch, and to make this new apartment our home together. 

If I could write a book about last year, I’d call it “Adventures with Anxiety”, because that title pretty much sums up the whole experience, and making fun of my anxiety usually helps me work through it (haha!). In all seriousness, if you experience any kind of mental illness, be proud of yourself for all of the times you’ve journeyed out of your comfort zone, but be equally proud of yourself for all the times you’ve said “no”, for knowing yourself well enough to know when to stop, and for putting your mental health first. Trust yourself.

If you made it to the bottom of this post, thank you for listening to me ramble, and I can’t wait to keep you updated on this new chapter!

- Haley

P.S. Stay tuned for apartment pictures and a new apartment tour :)